Category Archives: Tree of Life

Tree of Life

Dealing With Difficult People

Dealing with Difficult People

 

Although there are several reason why ministry leaders burn-out, one of the most common is weariness in dealing with difficult people. Working with the human heart and spirit is challenging to say the least. It is also rather unpredictable. The counsel or reasoning you used on one person may not work at all on the next person. A congregation of two hundred people will have three hundred opinions or agendas.  As the years roll by, leaders with the strongest of temperaments can become weary.

 

At one point Jesus looked at his disciples and said, “Oh you of little faith, how long do I have to put up with you?”  Any of us, including the Son of Man, can become weary with human stubbornness. You are not alone.

 

From a Tree of Life view point, what can we do to cope?  Here are some suggestions, and I would love to hear more from you and what you have learned so we can add to our list.

 

(A)  First, let’s make sure you and I are not one of the “difficult” people. Stated another way, let’s make sure we have crucified the self daily and continue to work on it with the Holy Spirit’s strength. The more we can get out of the way, the more the Emmanuel agenda can unfold. Our own agenda often can mean trouble and conflict with others. They have their agenda too. 

 

Ideally, a church is made up of children of God that have died to self. They are a group who gather to practice the community we see in the Triune Godhead. Church should be a community that spends its life glorifying, praising, encouraging, exalting and inspiring one another.  In the Godhead we see the example for all relationships.  Father, Son and Holy Spirit uplift one another to the point they are “one.”  Jesus prayed that we the church could be one as they are one. Believer’s meetings should be the most exciting and positive experiences of our week, not something that puts a knot in your intestines.

 

The human reality is, self, is our biggest stumbling block.  The people of God need to learn well, that following Jesus means dying to self. North American Christianity often teaches the opposite.

 

When you and I can live as totally crucified servants of Jesus, He will work powerfully through us. Under those circumstances, when others find fault with us, they are really finding fault with Jesus.

 

(B) Preach and teach Jesus, the all in all.  When we stick to talking about Jesus it does become harder for the difficult people to find fault with what we are teaching. Jesus is the Kingdom, the way, the truth, the Sabbath, the King of Kings, etc, etc, etc.  When we get off onto some pet doctrine or viewpoint we should not be upset when someone comes along and challenges us on the direction we are taking the congregation. Preach and teach Jesus! Jesus is the biggest and most exciting topic in the galaxy!

 

(C) Be a teachable listener.  If you are willing to listen long when people are explaining their point of view, you may win over more people than you think. People want to be heard. It makes them feel like they do have some ownership in the congregation. 

 

(D) Like Jesus, ask questions – challenge the difficult people.  Throw the ball back in their court. Put them in a place where they need to be part of the solution, not part of the problem – or they need to let it go.

 

(E) Refuse to be defensive.  Don’t take things personally. People are often upset about something that may have nothing to do with you. It may be a denominational viewpoint, or an opinion that makes little difference.  Preach Jesus, teach Jesus, talk Jesus, show love to all, and don’t take the critics personally. The church belongs to Jesus, not us.

 

(F) Refuse to engage in arguments. It takes two to make a fight. Learn how to disengage and explain you will only continue this discussion in a tree of life atmosphere.  Walk away from people whose sole purpose is to argue rather than hear another viewpoint.

 

(G) Smile and touch.  Always be respectful. Always smile and reach out and place a hand on a shoulder.  Life overcomes death. Light overcomes darkness.  It is hard for a difficult person to continue being a pain when you are smiling and squeezing their shoulder and maintaining your warm kind eye contact.   A gentle answer turns away wrath.

 

(H)  Have well trained “helpers” as a part of your leadership team. These are people who know how stressful your service to people is, and they do what they can to support you emotionally and physically by being trouble shooters that befriend and love-on the difficult people of the congregation. Moses could not do it all, and his father-in-law had to help him understand how to spread the load.

 

(I) Come hell or high water, try to end every conversation with difficult people by speaking a final life-giving sentence into the very spirit of the person while you give their shoulder one last squeeze.  Father, Son and Holy Spirit live out this loving community continuously. It is the Kingdom thing to do. 

 

(J) Remember, the religious establishment spit in Jesus’ face.  When it happens to you, try to see it as an honor to experience the sufferings of our King!

 

Please add any more suggestions you have in the comments section below. May Father bless you all with peace of mind, heart and spirit!

Tree of Life, Wives

Trimming the Wick

In all the times of aggravation, consternation and head shaking of being a servant of God, a loving wife, a joyful mother, a spiritual leader to other women, young and old, there are times when I have just laid on my bed and cried feeling helpless and discouraged that I just couldn’t measure up to the expectations of all these people! I have felt so small and inconsequential as I reached out to people with encouragement, assistance and a smile knowing that my little bit of help was not really going to make a big difference in their lives.

When I was in my twenties I really thought my words had weight but as I grew older I found that most people went ahead and did what they were planning to do despite my opinion even when they had asked for it. People often resisted asking my opinion as I grew into my thirties because I was the pastor’s wife and I would give them the answer they already knew was in the Bible, the answer they did not want to hear. It would break my heart when I would see the consequence of their actions which could have been avoided if they had only listened to the wisdom of the Bible.

As my husband experienced burn-out and the slow recovery from it, I, too, have had to recover. I think a lot of it is simply a new level of wisdom which God has graciously imparted. My expectations of myself and of other people have dropped considerably. I maintain my high moral standard but now feel a blessing when others seek to keep their word, or do a kind deed, or offer to pray rather than being let down when they don’t do these things. As I feel the patience of God toward me and my shortcomings I can now extend that same patience toward others. They are only human after all. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are the only One who understands all the details of any situation. I certainly don’t pretend to any more.

I try not to judge others (a difficult thing) but seek to give all people the benefit of the doubt. As Paul said, “There, but for the grace of God, go I”. The words of scripture help me straighten the path of my children and myself and I let God be the guide for the others. I try to speak the truth in love and let the Holy Spirit be the conscience pricker. My job is now to keep watch over my tongue, my household, and my own responsibilities. I cannot solve all the world’s problems but I can make a difference in a few lives that will make a difference in another generation to come. Some of our work will never be seen until another generation or two goes by and of course, our name may not even be associated with that work. But the Lord is faithful to remember our labor of love for His name’s sake.

If you are a woman feeling the pressure of trying to please too many people, the congregation, the pastor, the Board, your own family, try backing off for a while and taking a deep breath of Jesus’ grace. When the woman caught in adultery was brought before Him He diverted everyone’s attention from her trembling body to what He was doing, writing on the ground. He knew she couldn’t stand the pressure, the stares, the accusations, the finger-pointing. He gently reoriented the crowd of accusers to look at their own lives, not hers and seek forgiveness for their own sins leaving the woman to deal with hers directly with God. Jesus didn’t abandon her, though. He gently told her that He didn’t condemn her, (she was forgiven) and to go and sin no more. Wow! She got another chance! I hope she didn’t blow it and we can all talk to her in heaven to find out how her life turned around. She probably had to move to another town to get away from the wagging tongues but at least she could start over again. That is the grace of God.

When the pressure is on, stop, breathe deeply, and consider who you really are trying to please. The major person you need to please is Jesus Christ and next to Him is your own husband (or future husband if you are not married). After those two come your own children who may need more of your attention. If you are a paid employee, your boss needs some of your consideration. Now, if you can juggle the desires of all those people you are doing great! Be wise and careful about all your other commitments. Do the will of God by setting a good example to the rest of the congregation, showing love and kindness, but keep your eyes on Jesus. He’s the one who will be your real judge, not the congregation. Set your priorities and don’t get side-tracked by inconsiderate comments some ill-informed person may make.

I would love to talk to you about these lessons I have learned and am still learning. How do you decide what is the most important thing to concentrate on? If you want to talk, you can call me at 918-919-1490 or email helpforpastors@gmail.com. God bless you all as you work on trimming the wick.

Tree of Life

Choosing A Positive Viewpoint

If you are totally frazzled, worn-out and perhaps angry toward half the church, it is easy to only see the negative side of the situation. This often leads to bitterness forming in the heart and future unhappiness. It’s easy and natural for the flesh to feel this way.

However, for the sake of our marriage, children and relationship with our Lord Jesus, we need to exercise the free choice Father has given us, and choose how we view the past or the present. I’m not speaking about deceiving ourselves for the sake of our emotional health. All events, no matter how painful they were, can be viewed from a hundred different angles. If our pain is intense, our flesh may choose to view people and past events from a most negative angle. I want to encourage you to explore other viewpoints, and look for the positive.

Please, let me use my example by way of stark contrast. I could sum up my 30 year experience in Christianity in a single word - rejection. That’s very negative, but some days it seems the most accurate word to use! For 20 years I pastored in a church that blended old and new covenants. We preached Jesus, but we also kept the annual holy days or Jewish feast days. Many parts of the body of Christ labeled us “cultish”. Some of our teachings were definitely wrong. I never felt accepted by pastors of other denominations, and in fact was outright rejected by many of them. We were not invited to be a part of any community church activities, and books attacking us were very common.

In 1995, the denomination world wide made major doctrinal changes, and came in line with main stream teaching within the body. The move was unprecedented in church history. Pastors at the local ministerial associations warmed up in many cases, and the future looked more positive. I preached the new covenant with such zeal however, I became a problem to my own denomination. You can change the doctrinal statement on a piece of paper, but to change the heart of a person is another story. Cultish thinking and management methods continued in denominational leadership, and I became a big enough problem I was terminated. The regional pastor listened to the complaints of those in one of my congregations, but never came over to my house and sat down with Kathy and I and explained the complaints, or asked to hear our side. The National Director talked on the phone to many of our members, but when I called to talk with him, he refused to speak over the phone. The feelings of isolation grew. Support from denominational leaders was zero. In the next few weeks I left for a missionary journey to Nepal, and Kathy attended a major province wide denominational conference in Toronto. At one of the services, the regional pastor announced the names of all the pastors in the province of Ontario. My name was missing, even though Kathy was sitting on the front row staring right at the regional pastor. Kathy knew for certain at that point we would be terminated.

Upon returning from Nepal, I was called into a hotel room in Toronto by the National Director, and in twenty minutes my twenty year career in that denomination ended.

From there many doors opened in local pastoring in our home town, and I was heavily involved in several ministerial associations. I was always excited about the talk and the plans in the ministerial association, and I often took the lead in organizing city prayer walking, prayer gatherings and other projects - only to be disappointed when the pastors who gave great lip service to the ideas they helped formulate - never showed up. I soon began to realize mainline Christianity in Canada was practiced in a manner different than I imagined. In reality, Christianity is more a Sunday thing, and let’s talk moose hunting the rest of the week. Here I was coming out of a cultish past with the same driving zeal that makes cults work well, and expecting Christians to have even more zeal!

At this same time I was helping organize three different March for Jesus events in different cities. So many told me emphatically they were not going to march, and I was crazy to even ask people to do such a thing. I was bewildered. Jesus did the first MFJ into Jerusalem. Jesus was willing to hang on a cross naked, soaked in his own blood in front of many of his women followers and his mother - so I could have eternal life. Why were these Christians so embarrassed to walk down a street and proclaim they believe in Jesus? I received a lot of static regarding the Marches. Later I would bring these concerns up at some of the ministerial meetings and talk about the Gay Pride Parade in Toronto. The gay and lesbian community of Ontario were certainly more willing to promote their cause than the church marching for Jesus! More rejection.

We gave up and headed to Colorado Springs. The past two years have been interesting, and the level of acceptance as a “former cult leader” is better here than in Canada, but we have still felt rejection from the body. We understand how former Mormons or Jehovah’s Witnesses feel inside the body, and I can understand why a few give up and head back to their cults for acceptance. It would be easy to cast off cultural Christianity as a religion of rejection and a thousand guilt trips, but I choose to look at Biblical Christianity, and see my experience through positive eyes.

I had the wonderful opportunity to live the old covenant for a time period, and see many things through the eyes of a Jew and the eyes of a legalist. I deeply enjoyed preaching about Jesus during the Days of Unleavened Bread, Pentecost, Trumpets, Atonement, and the Feast of Tabernacles. Those years deeply grounded me in the Old Testament, which is something I find lacking in many new covenant Christians. What an amazing experience it is to have lived very zealously under the old covenant, and then have your eyes opened to the incredible new covenant. I look forward to future conversations with Moses, Elijah, Elisha, David, Paul and the prophets and apostles who also experienced somewhat similar journeys.

Although it was an exhausting experience, I had the task of walking two congregations of legalists out of their old covenant background and into faith and grace. The persecution was intense at times, but I am glad I preached Jesus, the unconditional love of Father, and the power of the Holy Spirit boldly. I have no regrets about preaching the truth in love.

Having experienced total burn-out as a pastor, I now have understandings and insights into the deep pain of many who are disillusioned with “church” and religion. By the grace of God I now can minister to those the church often considers “dirty laundry.” The thirty year experience has been very rich and life changing, and I hope through Smoldering Wick Ministries Kathy and I are able to help many burn-out victims through their desert experience, so they too can have a closer walk with the Lord, and not be victims any longer. Jesus calls us to be more than conquerors through His grace and truth as He lives His life in each of us.

So I urge you to repent of any bitterness that may have taken root, and have a look at your circumstances from a more positive viewpoint. God may be preparing you from something very special. Each of you have life experiences many can learn from. Don’t believe all the negative feedback that may have been tossed your way. You are a son of God, and He loves you so dearly He has big plans for you!

Tree of Life

The Blood Covenant

Today, many westerners get upset with life’s circumstances. We are sometimes led to believe that life should work well and everything should be blessed of God, once we become a Christian. Many churches even imply you are doing something wrong if you are not blessed abundantly. Scripture states the opposite.

While we partake in Christ’s sufferings, while we enter the Kingdom through much tribulation, while many diverse trials come upon us, let us remember the very nature of the blood covenant. Father has made a blood covenant with us through our Lord Jesus, and it is the defining relationship we have with our God.

In the modern western world we put little stock in covenant. It is little more than a word from another age. In our marriage covenants, we promise to stick with our mate until death separates us, but the minute we are unhappy we drop them like hot potatoes. In El Paso county here in Colorado Springs the divorce rate is now running 70%.

I put it to you, if we fully understand the level of commitment found in the blood covenant we have with Father, we will have greater spiritual strength, and more willingness to let go and put all trust in God. We may give a lot of lip service to trusting in God but it is amazing how much we also rely on our own strength and wits. Both Genesis 15 and Jeremiah 38 give us good understanding of the blood covenant agreement. An animal, or animals, are selected, and they are then split in two and the parts separated on the ground. As you can imagine, the ground ends up soaked in blood. The two individuals making covenant come together in the center of the split animal surrounded by all the bloody flesh. It is a powerful ceremony. By standing in this circle of bloody flesh they are stating that if they break covenant, they should be cut in half like the slaughtered animal. They are stating that they agree to the terms of the covenant until death takes their lives. In the ancient world this covenant was totally binding. It is not an easy concept to the western mind.

Often, the individuals would cut themselves on the right arm, and join the two wounds, and their blood would mingle.

The New Covenant in the blood of Jesus is even more powerful. Jesus came and represented mankind in the covenant with Father. When we drink the blood, and eat the flesh of our Lord Jesus we are entering into the covenant agreement. Father will never draw back from the blood covenant agreement. For Him it is utterly unthinkable. We can walk forward boldly, putting trust in the covenant agreement.

There are times in our lives when the only thing left to believe in is the blood covenant love of Father, His character and promises. Those three truths give me strength when I feel very down and discouraged. Life is not meant to work from our selfish viewpoint, but it does work from God’s perspective. The dry, lonely desert works really well from Father’s viewpoint, bringing us back to the basic blood covenant, and His great commitment to that covenant. The desert brings us back to the love found in that blood covenant. If you have just been terminated or resigned your post, take the Lord’s Supper frequently for the next several weeks. Rehearse the power of the blood covenant Jesus made with you, and you with the Father. Rehearse the covenant love that surpasses all understanding. Rehearse the character of Father and Jesus. Take the time to study the blood covenant between David and Jonathan, and read our article on that relationship that clearly helps us understand the New Covenant! God bless you!

Tree of Life

Just Push

A man was sleeping at night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light and the Savior appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him to do, and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin. The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might. This the man did, day after day. For many years he toiled from sun up to sun down, his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing with all his might.

Each night the man returned to his cabin sore, and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain. Seeing that the man was showing signs of discouragement, the Adversary decided to enter the picture by placing thoughts into the man’s weary mind: “You have been pushing against that rock for a long time, and it hasn’t budged. Why kill yourself over this? You are never going to move it.” Thus giving the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure, these thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man.

“Why kill myself over this?” he thought. “I’ll just put in my time, giving just the minimum effort and that will be good enough.” And that is what he planned to do until one day he decided to make it a matter of prayer and take his troubled thoughts to the Lord. “Lord” he said, “I have labored long and hard in your service, putting all my strength to do that which you have asked. Yet, after all this time, I have not even budged that rock by half a millimeter. What is wrong? Why am I failing?”

The Lord responded compassionately, “My child, when I asked you to serve me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all your strength, which you have done. Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to push. And now you come to me, with your strength spent, thinking that you have failed. But, is that really so? Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled, your back sinew and brown, your hands are callused from constant pressure, and your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition you have grown much and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have. Yet you haven’t moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and to push and to exercise your faith and trust in My wisdom. This you have done. I, my friend, will now move the rock.”

At times, when we hear a word from God, we tend to use our own intellect to decipher what He wants, when actually what God wants is just simple obedience and faith in Him. By all means, exercise the faith that moves mountains, but know that it is still God who moves the mountains.

For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to everyone that believes… Romans 1:16

Tree of Life

Reflections on Your Calling

One of the inner struggles many leaders experience occurs after resignation or termination. What about my calling? Am I failing in my commitments to God? Does God view me as a failure or a quitter?

One of the most common mistakes we make is to allow our calling to pastor or ministry leader supersede our calling to “follow me.” We experienced great joy when we were first called and came to know our savior Jesus and the bright future Father has in store for us. Years later when we entered the ministry many of us allowed the calling to preach or lead become the all- consuming passion to the detriment of our relationship with Jesus, our spouse, our children and even to the congregation.

I would like to suggest to you a few considerations. First, your original call was to “follow me,” and when we get away from that, Jesus has a way of bringing us back. You and I know it as the desert. A lot of big names in scripture spent a lot of time there, and so will you and I. Even if you are totally fed up and never want to be a part of ministry again, you probably will, because you are extremely important to Father, and He has a plan to refresh you and energize you. It’s called the dry, hot, lonely, desert. The perfect holiday retreat for the angry, disillusioned, depressed, cynical ministry leader!

Second, He may have a new expression of that ministry calling for you to launch into after your vacation in the desert is over. Let me tell you my story in brief and I hope it will give you new insights as to what Father may be doing in your life.

After growing up a latch-key child, I finished high school and became a full-time rock climbing/skiing bum. This involved hitch-hiking around the world a few times, and working to put food in my body. The emptiness of this selfish lifestyle drove me toward God. He knew just when to call me. One day I was walking through the streets of Salisbury, Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe) in southern Africa.. I turned a corner onto an empty street, and there lying in the gutter was an old woman dying. She was nothing but skin stretched over bones. She was right in the gutter, not on the sidewalk, but down as low as you can get in the street. She held out a frail hand, staring at me with haunting eyes, and she very quietly but desperately pleaded with me for help, her voice gasping some of her last breaths. I stood looking into those haunting eyes. As a young man from Canada I felt totally helpless. I had never witnessed such a sight, and I had zero training to help anyone in this circumstance. I experienced complete helplessness. Digging into my pocket I pulled out some money and handed it to her. Her ghostly eyes stared at me as if to say, “money can’t heal me.”

At this point in my young inexperienced life, I turned and walked away. I just walked away! It has been a haunting me for 27 years. From that fateful day I went on to Bible College, then out into the ministry to pastor churches for 23 years. Like so many pastors, once I became more absorbed in pastoring than I was in Jesus, I slid back into the old selfish lifestyle of city building and empire building. It happens easily over a period of years. City building so often is clothed in very religious garb. It can be subtle.

Every church my denomination transferred me into grew after I arrived. Then, it all fell apart, and the loving Lord Jesus sent me out to the desert for a season. One night while I lay in bed praying, the Holy Spirit whispered in my ear. Having totally burned-out and bottomed-out as a church leader, experiencing all the rejection the church heaps on you, and finding myself lying in the gutter, the Holy Spirit told me what God had in mind. My thoughts were transported back to that old woman in the gutter.

She was rejected and dying. She was left on the side of the road while others passed by on the other side. I could not speak her language. I could not feel her pain. I had no knowledge to help her. I had no experience with which to help her. I offered her money instead of love and dignity. I walked away.

The Holy Spirit spelled it clearly. Now, Kim, continue your ministry calling by reaching out to the leaders the church has cast into the ditch. They are rejected and dying. You do speak their language, because you have walked in their shoes. You do feel their pain because it also happened to you and Kathy. You do have the knowledge to help them and the experience to help them because I have prepared you for this. They need love and dignity. You are not the young man who once walked away from a stranger on the side of the road of life. You are now a well seasoned ministry leader having pastored in churches from legalistic, to charismatic. Now, you and Kathy reach out and minister to the spiritually dying on the side of the road.

Please check out our resource page on our website and consider ordering the book, “Unfolding, not Unraveling,” by Dr. Michael Ross of The Pastors Institute. The title and the subject matter dove-tail with this article. God is going to do a lot of good works through you and I yet, and we need to realize the story isn’t over. Please keep in mind your primary calling is “follow me,” not the call of pastor or ministry leader. There are many seasons in life, and you are probably entering a new one now. Take the time you need to unwind, and get over some of the bitterness that has developed in your heart. God will never forsake you and He does have future plans for you. God bless you and our family, and please do give us a call to talk.

Tree of Life

Godliness, Value, Burnout

In the heartache of burnout or termination many can lose their bearings, and say and do things they would not otherwise. It is a time of great inner turmoil and growing disillusionment with what we never would previously challenge.

But it is not a time to forget some of the most basic principles of scriptures. One of those living guidelines is found in 1 Tim. 4:7-10.

Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives’ tales; rather, train yourself to be godly. 8For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come. 9This is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance 10(and for this we labor and strive), that we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all men, and especially of those who believe. (NIV)

In the very midst of the most confusing time of your ministry - burnout - be careful to hang onto godliness. Don’t let the pain be a freeway allowing your human nature to race to the forefront. Just as physical training can be a blessing to your heart, lungs and muscles, godliness is a key that brings value and blessing to all things. Your marriage, your relationships with your children, friends and others. Remaining godly has a huge impact on what unfolds in your future, which at a time of burnout or termination, is a great concern.

Godliness is doing the right thing when ugly things are happening. Control your tongue even when church members or denominational leaders are attacking you. Remain faithful and obedient to God even when future job prospects are looking gloomy. Even when those who are closest to you forsake you and toss you into an empty well, remain godly in thought and behavior. Your heart will ache with the pain of rejection and betrayal, but godliness has value in all things and all situations. While you sit in the dry, lonely well of total burnout, stay faithful and be willing to die if need be, to bring glory to our Father. Let godliness do its work in and through you. As in Joseph’s case, life can and may get darker than a dry well. Slavery and imprisonment awaited Joseph after he was pulled out of the well. Through all the low times which lasted for years, Joseph remained godly, simply because that is the correct response even if you are living in hell.

Joseph remained godly because he loved God despite what the world and life dished out. In the end, God exalted Joseph to the second most powerful position in the most powerful nation in the world at the time.

As Paul wrote to Timothy, this is a trustworthy saying (v9), not just a wing and a prayer. We can count on this life principle. Godliness will win out in the end because God is faithful to those who love Him and give their lives away to prove it.

Verse 10 tells us we need to work at remaining godly. The word striving is used here. Please keep in mind it is the Holy Spirit who gives us the strength and courage to remain godly in the most hellish of circumstances. Striving to be godly by our own will power and human strength is a sure formula to burnout. When you’re at the bottom of the dry well, keep your eyes focused on God, not the foreboding rock walls of the well. Now more than ever is the time to pray, “come Holy Spirit”. Let Him strengthen you and give you the courage to remain godly. Strive and labor to be close to God, and He will remain close to you, and exalt you in His time.

Do the godly thing, regardless of the member attacks, politics within denominational leadership, family and financial pressures, or whatever else life, people or the devil toss your way. Choose life. Choose godliness over any other action or reaction. Remain godly regardless of what others around you are doing or saying. Give your life away to godliness, and Father will always be there beside you waiting to exalt you to even greater service in the Kingdom! Keep growing in godliness. God Bless you all!

Tree of Life

Temptation and Burn-out

Is it possible that some ministry leaders have burned-out because they judged themselves so harshly for not measuring up, and then eventually came around to blaming the church or God for their feelings and state of affairs? We believe this is very possible. Many a pastor, youth leader, worship leader has launched out into their ministry with such zeal that absolute perfect was the only acceptable result. Not understanding that perfect can be a form of idolatry, they become harshly critical of themselves and others around them.

One of these areas of consideration is temptation. For some reason there are many who do not understand that temptation is not a sin. They expect God to give them so much strength they won’t have or experience any feelings of temptation. Please remember Jesus was tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin (Heb. 4:15). Yet, many a leader puts a pressure on themselves when any temptation comes their way, and they can feel guilty and angry at themselves. Again, what is needed is a proper understanding of the topic, and the realization that we, in our vanity and human pride, can put totally unrealistic expectations on ourselves–expectations that will never be reached in this lifetime and expectations that move us inevitably toward burnout!

Temptation is the appeal to the human nature - that pull from the world of darkness. It is the draw to our physical appetites, and appeal to the normal reactions of our emotions and reasoning. We left that all behind when we became a new creation, yet it is there reaching out it’s deceptive hands toward us.

Why does God allow temptation to fill this earth, permeating every corner of the planet His own children dwell in? Is there purpose? Could it be part of his great plan to bring glory to His Son, and establish our faith?

James gives us a step by step explanation how temptation turns into sin. When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. (James 1:13-15, NIV).

Evil desire refers to the fallen sinful nature we wish to leave behind forever. The word enticed has to do with bait or lure. The pull of darkness on our human nature. To experience temptation is not a sin according to James. To have the thought or the pull of temptation is a natural part of this life. We have to be “dragged away and enticed”, and then when the desire conceives - we go from reaction to decision - we enter sin.

To be upset when a church member laughs in your face during a counseling is normal and not a sin. To get up and verbally abuse the person in revenge is a sin. To be frustrated with the board and their politics is very normal. To hate their intestines is sin. When members or other pastors gossip about you and hurt your reputation it is fine to be hurt and angry. It is part of the human experience. When you are cut off in traffic it is natural, and not a sin to be angry. It becomes sin when we decide to ram them off the road or we start uttering unspeakable language.

Many a ministry leader has driven themselves half crazy trying to avoid the natural reaction, and be above reality. Why do so many Christians find it impossible to accept themselves? Sure we want to be “Christlike.” Absolutely, yet that very work is a work of the Holy Spirit. We must yield, but when we try to do this transforming work ourselves, it often leads to perfectionism, then judge-mentalism, criticism, condemnation, then disillusionment with God and church, then burnout!

Some ministry leaders, when they come to the conclusion they will have these human reactions to temptation, put on a mask and pretend they don’t react to this worldly stimuli. Mask wearing is a proven short-cut to disillusionment and burnout.

The classic Biblical example is Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane. The human Jesus became so tempted by the thoughts of pain and agony he cried out to Father to change the plan. Remember, Jesus was without sin. He did not sin in being tempted so greatly.

How many ministry leaders who are frustrating themselves to burnout, if they really understood, could just relax and enjoy the new covenant? Tens of thousands for sure.

Consider this. When we are tempted, the temptation is calling us to be what we are not. We are a new creation, born again. Yet temptation calls us to do that which our heart knows is not the life of Christ in us. Also temptation is calling us to forget who we really are, and inviting us to become legalistic, motivating us to overcome the temptation as if it were separating us from Jesus. Temptation alone does not separate us from Jesus!

Once we have fallen for the lie that we can combat temptation with our will power, we begin to slowly wear out and head for burn-out. Please do not resist temptation with your own will power. The best approach to resisting temptation is by turning to Christ, our real life within. When temptation excites the dark emotions in us, Jesus becomes the answer - the only answer. When we are incredibly impatient, Jesus becomes our patience. When we feel deep bitterness and anger toward others, Jesus becomes our love and forgiveness.

In this way, temptation becomes a tool that (1) reminds us of who we really are as a born again new creation, (2) brings glory to our Lord Jesus because we never say “no” to temptation, but rather, “yes” to Jesus. It is our Lord dwelling in us that overcomes the temptation and in so doing the Father is glorified.

“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”(1 Cor. 10:13, NIV)

So God is not against temptation, but rather uses it to point us back to Jesus over and over throughout the day. Burn-out becomes a real possibility when we try to overcome on our own strength. Burn-out becomes a high risk factor in legalistic churches where perfectionism is the subtly underlying spirit. If you feel burn-out is becoming a part of your Christian walk, please do send us email, or a phone call and Kathy and I will be happy to listen, love, and pray for you. You can be free of guilt and self-induced stress over temptation.

Remember, it was for freedom that Christ has set us free! There is something about freedom that is so very precious that Jesus was willing to die so we could have freedom again. Burn-out is the fruit of the church adding two thousand years of rules, traditions, bylaws, methodologies, patterns, and expectations to the simplicity of Christ. If you have burned-out and stepped away from your role as a ministry leader, look at this time as a time to shed all those two thousand years of baggage and the wonderful and enjoyable chance to fall in love with Jesus all over again. I think Paul would call this, “recapturing your first love.”

Tree of Life

Meaningful Encounter with God in 2003

Steve Packer, Speech at Linn County Association of Evangelicals Luncheon, former pastor

Jeremiah 18:18 says, “Come let us devise plans against Jeremiah . . . let us attack him with the tongue, and let us not give heed to any of his words.”

I walked this same path with Jeremiah five and a half years ago and have been taking baby steps toward complete healing ever since that time. I had come to expect (even anticipate) the rejection of antagonists within the local church. However, I did not anticipate the confusion they successfully created among other believers and the devastating escalation of the rejection which followed from friends, peers, and denominational officials. I soon lost my job, our family lost its support group and local church, we eventually lost our home, most of our friends, and any future career in that denomination.

Chuck Swindoll described our situation (and Jeremiah’s situation) like this, “Swamped with disillusionment and drowning in despair . . . surrounded by sarcastic whisperings . . . by once trusted friends . . . feeling like a limp rag doll in the mouth of a Doberman.” That is exactly how I felt at the time.

But, in God’s sovereign plan, I needed to be thrown into that pit to discover that when every thing is taken away . . . God alone is enough. God gave me the promise of Psalm 71:20-21 during these first days in the pit, “Though You have made me see troubles, many and bitter, You will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth You will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once again.”

God also gave me Matthew 5:3 (Message paraphrase) “You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and His rule.”

And Matthew 6:34, “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.”

And Matthew 10:22-23, “There is great irony here: proclaiming so much love, experiencing so much hate! But don’t quit, don’t cave in. It is all well worth it in the end. It is not success you are after in such times but survival. Be survivors! Before you run out of options, the Son of Man will have arrived.”

Sir Winston Churchill said, “Success is moving from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.” My family and I had lost our enthusiasm; our passion had been squeezed out of us. The best we could hope for was to survive.

My family and I were determined to be survivors. I worked secular jobs so that my children could remain in their same high schools and graduate. I was not bitter or angry; those lessons had already been learned well previously. But I was extremely hurt and disillusioned with my calling to pastoral ministry. Very few expressed any confidence in my calling and my desire toward holiness with God. All I have wanted to accomplish since my conversion is to grow closer to God each day and to be the best pastor, servant/leader that I could be. How in the world can someone with that ambition land in such a deep pit of despair?

However, the Son of Man did show up. He showed up at the Tuesday noon Prayer Alliance where I was surrounded by other pastors who encouraged me and believed in me. Out of that group, one pastor in particular, Ron Connerly, dug through all the garbage and took the risk of hiring me to work on his pastoral staff. God was beginning to renew that passion within but the healing was not yet complete.

Just a few weeks ago, God took me back to Jeremiah, this time Jeremiah 20:9 where Jeremiah, who is in despair from the persecution of others, says, “I will not make mention of Him (meaning God), nor speak any more in His name. But His Word was in my heart like a burning fire shut up in my bones; I was weary of holding it back, and I could not!”

Again Swindoll elaborated on these words from Jeremiah this way, “Directly sent from God is this surge of Hope, this cleansing fire of confidence, this renewed sense of determination swelling up within me this Divine perspective has provided a fresh breeze of hope in the pits.”

My meaningful encounter with God in 2003 is still fresh; the passion has been renewed to advance beyond being a survivor to being a victor! The fire within has been fanned into flame and God’s Holy Spirit has set me free from the hurt of the past and focused my attention upon the only thing that matters in this life . . . a deeper, more intimate walk with God each day.

My focus is no longer on success, no longer on significance, but only upon the chief end of man, which is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever. “He walks with me, and He talks with me, and He tells me I am His own, and the joy we share as we tarry there, none other has ever known.” It is possible to know a peace that passes all human under-standing and to know a joy unspeakable and full of God’s glory. However, there is a price to pay for this privilege . . . the pit, the wilderness, solitary confinement, whatever it takes for my will to break, that’s what we must be willing to do.

An unidentified missionary has spoken these words, “If your life is broken . . . when you give the pieces to Jesus they will be used to feed a multitude, but left as a single loaf, it may have only satisfied a little boy.”

Do not fear the blessings of brokenness; allow them to fulfill God’s divine intentions. Jeremiah 17, “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is in the Lord . . . you will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will cease from yielding fruit . . . I the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind.”

I conclude my testimony with these healing words from Andrew Murray,
“First, He brought me here. It is by His will that I am in this difficult place, in that I will rest.
“Second, He will keep me here in His love and give me grace in this trial to behave as His child.
“Third, He will make the trial a blessing, teaching me the lessons He intends me to learn and working in me the grace He means to bestow.
“Fourth, in His good time He can bring me out again, how and when, only He knows. So, I’m here by His appointment, in His keeping, under His training, for His time.”

May this be true for us all! Amen!

Tree of Life

Musings on Freedom

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Paul’s words to the Galatians ring loud in our ears today - or do they? When we look about and notice how many churches and denominations seem to enslave their people with a variety of ideas, programs, requirements and expectations that, at times, seem extra-biblical, I can’t help wonder if many of us are missing the boat on freedom.

Coming into relationship with Christ is supposed to be the greatest liberating experience we have, yet for many, including pastors and ministry leaders, freedom in Christ has become a-burnout-experience. To those who become angry, disillusioned, and cynical, freedom and church are two words that don’t belong in the same sentence. Could our whole approach to church and ministry be far off base?

When we look at the scriptures we see Jesus having a very different approach than many ministers and leaders of today. Jesus seems so easy going. He enjoys hanging out and eating dinner with the biggest sinners in town. The only people he gets upset with are the religious people. Those are the hard to get along with people! When a woman caught in adultery is brought to him for judgement, he doesn’t condemn her or even give her a moralizing sermon. He loves her. No pressure. No guilt trips. Everything he says to her is restoring, loving and healing. Everything he says to her is out of the tree of life. Everything the legalists that want her stoned to death say and do is out of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. I can’t help but think so many of us still have much to learn about freedom.

My home country is Canada. My wife’s homeland is America. Our two countries have the same problem. We have lots of illegal immigrants sneaking into our two nations. There are no walls built around Canada or America with machine guns and guards ready to shoot citizens who try to escape. We have no problems with people wanting to escape. Our problems are with so many people trying to sneak in! Do you have that problem in your church? Too many people sneaking in because your church is such an awesome place where people can become all they dream they can be? Is your church so freedom oriented that people are slipping in the basement windows and back doors and passing themselves off as members so they can enjoy the full benefits of living in a church family environment where freedom allows them to reach for the stars? Hello?

Why are so many churches highly controlled environments? Where do we get these ideas and patterns of management and organization? Many ideas and methods stem out of the old way of the written code and flourish because we really don’t understand the fullness of the new covenant. Some of this controlling culture stems out of our worldly egos and desires to have the biggest or best church around.

The age old struggle for power and control is as much alive in some congregations as it is in the political arena. Boards, trustees, deacons, leading members - sometimes arm wrestle for office of power broker, and the pastor or ministry leader becomes a puppet, pretending he/she is in charge. In reality this self-deception on the part of the pastor becomes a contributing factor in future burnout.

In a free environment like Canada or America, the highly creative and innovative individual can become all God blesses upon them. They can grow up to become nation shaping adults that change the way we live, work and play. Ideally, that is the way church should be. Our congregations need to be launching pads that teach and show God’s will for people and then give them the tools and freedom to launch into ministry with God’s blessing upon them - rather than the church board’s control or denial burdening down the individual with a weight that seems too great to carry.

What happens to up-and-coming superstars in countries where the government wants to control everything? The creative and innovative become frustrated, and even though they love their country, they eventually move on and immigrate to free nations where their talents and innovative new ideas can be launched and appreciated. Is this fact any different in our churches? How many congregations have lost their young because the old leadership is over-controlling or unwilling to see a new paradigm? How many very creative para-church ministries have been launched apart from a local church because the local church was too stifling or controlling?

There is a law of leadership that states a leader usually cannot attract any followers who have greater leadership skills or creativity than themselves. Thus, the majority of churches in North America have attendance between 80 and 120 people. Why? As people attend a church they begin to realize the have more on the ball than the local pastor - especially if the local leadership are controllors and manipulators. Especially if the leadership stifles freedom. The church member then makes a decision to stay and fight the system, or move on to another church where the leadership has greater skill then he does. Or, in some cases, the up and coming star may drift off and start their own ministry or church. If he/she stays in the local congregation and pushes for their new ideas and ministries, they may be asked to leave - fired, kicked-out, excommunicated, tossed out the door, sent packing, etc! This has happened millions of times over in churches and businesses in North America.

Allowing the freedom Jesus gave us to flow in all the congregation’s activities accomplishes two wonderful things. It takes huge pressure off the controlling pastor, and it allows everyone in the congregation to live happier and achieve what God has in mind for them. Until freedom reigns in our congregations, burnout in both leaders and members will continue. There is much more to the subject of burnout, but understanding freedom and living in freedom will do much to take the pressures off our lives and give us the chance to experience the joy of the Lord.

It is a good test to look at our ministries and ask “How much have I been a controller and how much of my frustration has come because people were not living up to my expectations? Did I place burdens on others that were too hard to carry? Did I judge more harshly than the Lord Himself? Or even, did I make certain decisions to please the power wielders of the congregation rather than for the good of the church? Am I frustrated because I expect more from myself than I can give? ”

Answer the questions honestly then give the whole package to Jesus and ask Him to forgive the sin of putting the will of man above the will of God. Then relax, have a good laugh at yourself for thinking you were in charge, and have fun watching Him take over in the real administration of the Church, through the life of freedom that has its best expression in serving the Lord. What a beautiful bride the church will be when she can be loving, self-controlled, wise and joyful all out of her own free will and desire, without fear of judgment and rejection, always confident that she is loved!